Fasting and Prayer

Nothing was ringing through my mind when I 1st heard about these words, I thought I wouldn't have to do it at all...... Until, Friday, 16th March, it was my 1st time attending HOME (Act church) (another secret on this days was I almost got into a bad car accident, Thank God for letting me go for He know I got HOME to go to :) ). There I was, of course always the quiet one and always needed someone to start a conversation, well, Thank God, always being so good to me. The welcome was very the warm and it really remind me of "Urban Life" back in OZ.

As the HOME goes on, they started talking about fasting and praying because Acts church is now having an event known as "U-turn" which will start the next day and goes on for the next 21 days. As noob as I am :), I did not fully understand the meaning, but then there was an urge to do it. Knowing my limit, I agreed to do just a "partial-meal" fast which fast from 7am-7pm (btw, the timing does not necessary have to be 7am-7pm). Of course, the next day, I manage to do it but something did not actually felt quite right.

It was until the next Sunday morning when I finally understand the meaning of fasting and praying, thank to the awesome speaker in Acts church!! It is all about removing distraction in life that have been blocking God, just to get closer to God. This is went I finally decided to cross that limit of mine, and decided to fast everything that had been distracting me from God. As much as I still unsure of what lies ahead in the future and how much I actually capable of doing this, I guess this is one of those time to get as close as I can get with God :)

Arigato Gozaimasu, Lord!!!

Dying a little everyday

I know this is one of the sad moment in my life. Like everyone else, everyone got a battle to deal with. Mine feel like I'm at the losing side...... Yes, I well aware how God work. Usually put us in trouble which we can usually handle (though it doesn't feel that way), and then work it miracle at the last minute (though his last minute is actually just in time). This is just how He does thing, Reason of it, it depend but I can tell you this, it always relate back to faith.

The thing is, is easy to have faith in Him when we are in a good situation, He is pleased when we does that. But here a not so easy part, it never easy to have faith in Him when our situation is rotting, but if one is able to pull it through mean pleasing Him a million more time.

Of course, this is happening to me now...... Of all the night, tonight, right now as I writing this, I feeling worst than ever. Just a moment ago I felt like giving up, asking God just to take me away right there and then. But then, this sentence came by, "Don't ever give up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." That help me though I wasn't feeling any better, I couldn't even sleep as this feeling was really bugging me.

Obviously, God not showing the answer to all these thing now. I just have to be patient with all these, knowing God will help me and pull me out of this in time. Oh Lord, please have mercy on this soul.

1st day of 2012

What an awesome start to the new year, Sunday, the 1st of January!! But the truth is, God was about to show me otherwise. As always went to church and they were preaching about the always rejoice in Lord no matter what the situation is and God test may always get harder but it will always match your capability and "trusting God" really count only when you can still say "I still trust you, Lord" even in the darkest moment of your life. Of course, thing were going well until after church...

God shown me the one thing that I thought I was good at were actually not good at all yet. It was patience. See, this is what God love to do, the moment you think you are very good at something and starting to feel awesome at it, He can instantly prove you wrong.

That day, I got a fight into my family and thing were very, very nasty. It wasn't cool to start the 1st day of 2012 like this. It lasted for a long time...... Those moment were very cold, there was a part of time I just stop believing and my mood were as down as minus. On the night itself, I was in my room, still in bad mood, facebooking. I suddenly remembered Pastor Kenneth teaching but my mood was still very bad, I did it anyway. Turn to my phone, even though my favourite music was playing half way(it usually impossible for me stop halfway), but I just stop the music, the started playing planetshaker song. It was during those moment, everything felt right again, there were tear in my eye and I dun even noe why..... It was comfortable. After all those, my mood wasn't bad anymore, i wasn't pissed with what happened anymore and moreover, guilt were starting to fill in adi. As I went back to bed (as it was very late adi), I send sms to their phone apologizing them.

The next day, everything went back to normal, they send back an "apologize accepted" message which make my day. Then during that time, something popped up in my mind, it was "It doesn't matter how the day start your new year, but it matter how you start your new year."

Thank you, Jesus Lord!!!

Those 5 incredible month

I can still remember the first day at KLIA as I and other friend were boarding the flight to Melbourne till the very end of the journey where I united with my parent. The whole trip was like a dream.... A very, very sweet dream....

One of the most awesome moment were during 3rd-4th of September, this is where everything

truly started. Started doing thing I thought I couldn't do, always assuming all those were only for

crazy ppl. But of course, God is there all the time. Even now in Malaysia, I just wanted to do all

those even though the weather here is hot and HOT.... As much as I know it, I suddenly interested

in thing I used to hate and out of nowhere and I not so addicted to online games anymore......

Unlike the last time, I would always search for those "stuff" or play online game the whole day when

I just averagely bored. Now, all I can think is my friend, family and God even though I extremely

bored.

Haha, oh well, much to say, but lazy to type. All I can type is, this is wat God had done in my

life!! Arigato yo!!!

Miracle, by Lord

This happen after a marathon (actually before that), off course the running was cool, but wat come after that was something I thought I wouldn't have gone through. Since there were only three of us, I started noticing him and her were ignoring each other. As she was talking to me non-stop instead of him, I knew something wasn't right.... and too make thing even more obvious, he was regretting and will always be sitting at one corner, like how my old self would do. Somehow, I felt his pain, that pain that ate and destroyed me before this, but din noe wat happen... Till my fren told me that something happened...... It was this moment, I was very disturbed, yet felt so powerless cuz I din noe wat to do.....

That night, every night, I would continue to pray to Lord, knowing this hell will end somehow. Did talk with him, but he felt so hopeless when we talking about it.... It also make me feeling very hopeless, I wanted to cry. Somehow, I juz dun noe how, I know God will do something about it. The next day, I did something I thought I wouldn't such thing, I swallowed all that bitter, I was expecting bad thing to happen, like she would hate me as she hate him.... But the pain he was suffering, I know that pain...... Then I try talking to her, I was even surprised she replied me in the first place.

After the talk, I knew I did all I can do help him adi while trusting the rest to Lord. Though, he say they have broke up, I din want to believe, I knew this wasn't true, I din tell anyone cuz I know this wasn't true, that night I cry out for Lord, I ignore all possibility and focuz on that problem itself. Then HE did it!! FINALLY!!! It was during her birthday, at night, they finally make up and they are together again now!! Even until now, I am freaking happy, is as if I can just throw a huge party!! And to make thing even better, God gave me a bonus! HE went and touch their heart!! Thank you, LORD!!! You have always been there for me!!!

One of the best Sunday

It was 9/10/11, and it was my first 10km marathon and I couldn't have done it without God. This is wat happen: I was never a runner when I first came here, running 1km is adi very painful for me. When my friend first introduced me the event "Melbourne Marathon". I was never interested in it..... until a few of my friend wanted to join. Underestimated 10km, I joined the 10km under 55min event. That until I started training in gym initially, each time I trained, each time I got more frustrated and there was one day I train till my killed my leg...... I couldn't run for 5 days until that "miracle" happen, (http://calvininsj.blogspot.com/2011/09/book.html)

Ever since, the training was getting better and so it the result as He help me on my way. All were good until the marathon day itself.... The morning I woke up, I was having a very bad cramp/stitch near my stomach area and to make thing to worst, we have to walk from out fren place(we overnight in city before the day of marathon) to MCG cause there was no transport. My cramp was kinda bad even when I was at the starting line where it about to start. I almost wanted to give up my goal of finishing under 55minutes, but God came again.... As the whistle started, I started jogging, praying my cramp won't kill me... Jogging and jogging, I continuously praying and also did pray for all my other fren. 1km and my cramp was surprisingly disappearing, and I was able to finish the whole marathon without stopping for walk under 54minutes! Thank for running with me Jesus!!

After attending church, went for lunch and home to change my cloth, went to Camberwell to celebrate friend birthday. Of course, the whole dinner was fun and I was expecting everyone to remember that there was 3 friends birthday that were very closed with each other and not to remember mine, I din want anyone to remember and celebrate my birthday anyway for a good reason. The dinner was awesome cause it was Sofia, haha. Not only that, I gave 20 dollar during the church offering and I knowing the dinner going to cost me another 15dollar, leaving almost 5 dollar for the whole week to survive. Anyway, I din care as long as I see my friend happy...... Unfortunely, someone found out about my birthday...... After we singing birthday song to our fellow friend, they all sang one more time, wandering why, I went along...... Until the name part of the song...... I was shocked and nothing to say...... the whole dinner, all I could do is sit there quietly, I din even want them to belanja me at least, but they rejected my money anyway.... When I heard the amout it cost, I was feeling quite guilty... at least that night I din take a lot haha!! And like always, I dun expect present... but that night all four of us receive present from all of our awesome friend. And that night, it was one of the best present I ever received for a long time... Thank you, Lord! You have been making my life better and better even when all was wrong!! Thank You!!

Temptation

Like everyone else, after getting rid of their old habit, temptation is always as the devil only want you to fail... During sleeping nicely, I was always been disturbed by dream that relate back to my old habit, of course, the feeling of going back to the old habit was there but I din want to. It was until one night, it was one of the longest "bad" dream, and I almost fall back into that bad habit... Jesus saved me, my whole "bad" dream was instanteounsly destroy. It happen few days ago adi, and yet I can never forget that moment. Thank you, Lord!