What really happened?

It started during my secondary school, right on Form 4, my result were deterioting badly, I didn't care. I almost got last in class in the last class of the pure science class in whole pure science form 4. During form 5, I was lucky to have a Christian friend where he never give up in asking me to his christian fellowship. Though I cant really remember the detail much, but it was during this time where I truly believe in God, and it was from there onward I wanted to stop cursing and simply releasing my temper at anyone I don't like and this does include my parent. (yes, I was a very hot-tempered person during form 4 with a 24/7 cursing word) I also have no self-confident and at time I did feel like "disappearing" from this world.

Then, I started to realize what I had done in my life and wanted to change everything. It was also during this time, surprisingly I got 2nd position in my class(I know it actually nothing much, but for people like me, I thought this only happen in dream) and my "SPM" actually did not bad, 7A out of 11. Then entering pre-u, SAM, yeah, I was improving, everything went quite smooth except the "habit" was getting worst, it was eating my life slowly. SAM result was good, it was more than enough to enter monash uni. Happy of course, knowing Lord will guide me all the way.

But I was foolish, I thought I can handle everything myself, I thought too myself, I don't need a Christian friend. I can go solo on this. Then, somewhere went wrong...... I started losing my self-confident, hatred was growing again, my "old" altitude was coming back again. As bad as it gone, I started to kinda hate anyone who "holy". I never really attend church, I started ignoring all my Christian friend, but worst of all, my best friend who wanted to learn more about Jesus and Lord, I started to discourage him from all this thing...... Then the feeling of wanting to "disappear" from this world started creeping in again. Even right after I come to Australia, I always hated myself and doubting God non-stop...... It was then, my friend introduce me to his church camp, there went something happened------------- http://calvininsj.blogspot.com/2011/09/renew.html

It was then I started looking at life differently in a brighter view. Thank you, Lord Jesus!!