What really happened?

It started during my secondary school, right on Form 4, my result were deterioting badly, I didn't care. I almost got last in class in the last class of the pure science class in whole pure science form 4. During form 5, I was lucky to have a Christian friend where he never give up in asking me to his christian fellowship. Though I cant really remember the detail much, but it was during this time where I truly believe in God, and it was from there onward I wanted to stop cursing and simply releasing my temper at anyone I don't like and this does include my parent. (yes, I was a very hot-tempered person during form 4 with a 24/7 cursing word) I also have no self-confident and at time I did feel like "disappearing" from this world.

Then, I started to realize what I had done in my life and wanted to change everything. It was also during this time, surprisingly I got 2nd position in my class(I know it actually nothing much, but for people like me, I thought this only happen in dream) and my "SPM" actually did not bad, 7A out of 11. Then entering pre-u, SAM, yeah, I was improving, everything went quite smooth except the "habit" was getting worst, it was eating my life slowly. SAM result was good, it was more than enough to enter monash uni. Happy of course, knowing Lord will guide me all the way.

But I was foolish, I thought I can handle everything myself, I thought too myself, I don't need a Christian friend. I can go solo on this. Then, somewhere went wrong...... I started losing my self-confident, hatred was growing again, my "old" altitude was coming back again. As bad as it gone, I started to kinda hate anyone who "holy". I never really attend church, I started ignoring all my Christian friend, but worst of all, my best friend who wanted to learn more about Jesus and Lord, I started to discourage him from all this thing...... Then the feeling of wanting to "disappear" from this world started creeping in again. Even right after I come to Australia, I always hated myself and doubting God non-stop...... It was then, my friend introduce me to his church camp, there went something happened------------- http://calvininsj.blogspot.com/2011/09/renew.html

It was then I started looking at life differently in a brighter view. Thank you, Lord Jesus!!

Devil and God

This happen very long ago, if I not mistaken, it happen when I 18 years old where I still strongly believe in God. Two days before the real event happened, my friend, who is a Buddhist was being "kacau" by some evil spirit for quite a long period(more than one day, I guess). His parent then bring him to the temple to cure him, and it did.

Then it happened to me, I dun't know how much his event relate to mine, but I guess it was the same "thing". It started when I was sleeping, suddenly I was abruptly awaken by someone voice, the moment I heard it, I knew it was God and it was very clear and I can still remember it main content, "Tonight, the devil is going to disturb 3 times, but I will protect you!" After listening to it, I cover myself with my blanket and waited for the worst.

Then when I thought it was not going to happen, the door open, then I hear my mum voice! I knew something was not right because who mum is evil enough to scare their children late at night...... Under my blanket, I started praying! Then the voice stop, that must be the 1st attack, I think to myself. The second attack was when the "thing" started jumping on me, trying to wake me up, as much as I want to scream, I continuing praying to Lord, knowing everything will go well!!

Then it stop! I guess that was thee 2nd attack. Then it was quiet for a while...... Finally, the 3rd attack, as much as it sound very weird, here how it gone. The "thing" attacked me just like it did on the 2nd attack, as I was praying, suddenly there was a portal, it started sucking the "thing" into it. As it try to grab me together, I give one last kick to it, there when I saw the "thing", the image was blurry though. After the "thing" let go, the portal closed, everything went back to normal as if it was a dream. Exhausted, I went back to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up and the first thing I remember was the incident last night, although the whole thing sounded like a dream, but it felt as real as reality.

Thank you, God and Jesus for that night, I know I would not be able to survive without Your help.

The Book

It started on Monday night, I was really regretting that I did not bring my bible...... I was

thinking to myself, tomorrow I shall go to city and find one, then again, I just remember it was week 7, there was lab till 6pm...... Thinking I wont be able to do so, I went online to check which lab I was in, I thought my eye were deceiving me, nevertheless, I knew what to do already.

Then it was Tuesday, my class ended at 2pm but left for city at 4pm to take advantages of the 2 hours ticket, hence, it only expire at 7pm. Reach city 4.30pm(cause it was an express train, thank God), well, here the irony, I did not even check where and which shop sell bible before I came here...... I just came to city as if I lost my control of my body..... Anyway, I started hunting for the Book. Search up and down, entering every bookshop I see, left and right, Melbourne central and QV mall, then it was 5.45pm. "Needed to reach back Melbourne Central before 6.20pm", thinking to myself. Thus, I continue hunting. (Before this, before even coming to city, my leg were already hurting me cause of the over-training myself at gym last Thursday) I walk and walk, passing through Melbourne Central, Flinder Street and Southern Cross... Then reaches at Flagstaff garden, I couldn't walk already and yet I got no luck.

At Flagstaff garden, it was already 6.30pm, I knew I couldn't reach back to Huntingdale in time before my 2 hours ticket expired. Exhausted, I sat down at the garden, then, I remember a phone number, which I receive from Planetshaker on Monday. (The phone call was relating to topic about being why I did I choose this "path") Hesitated for a long time and was really scared of the answer I will get, I send a message about where to get a bible, then I headed home quite disappointing. While heading home, help did arrive and this time I knew where to get the "Book" and at least, God was there to comfort me as I call my friend and wanted to ask where was the restaurant he was speaking off (Sue Delight). It was just nice, that both him and my other friend was also planning to eat there. Once reaches home, I check google map to find the nearest shop(Koorong) that sell the Book I needed, it actually 9.1km cause I did not use the real address.

Then on Wednesday, while I was doing my tutorial, suddenly my phone rang, it was another call from Planetshaker, it was nearly identical(but it was not the same). Then the same question I receive, "Do you have any prayer request?" Since I have been saying no for three time already (it was not on the same call, but time before this) and this is the fourth time, with no control, I told her my left leg was killing me since the past few days, it was then and there, the pain disappear like magic, thank God, it was another miracle...... And it was on this time, I decided to jog to Koorong and yes I know I could have take a bus there, but He wanted me to jog and so I do.

It was 4.45pm, I started jogging. It was not even 4.55pm and the pain from my leg came back. 5pm, the pain stop me from jogging, and I haven even reach pinewood (From pinewood, it only 1/4 of the way). Thought of giving up and turning around, suddenly, God told me, trust me and continue your journey. So I went on, passing through pinewood, the PAIN was annoying!! Praying, I walk on. Did saw a few chair nearby to seat by, I ignore them and walk on. There are time I continue to jog even though it kill me leg cause it was getting late and the sun set here earlier compare back in Malaysia. Walking past Syndal station, there 1/3 more to go, I was thinking of just taking a bus up to Vicki street, but I ignore it and I wouldn't know which stop to drop anyway, having faith I continue...... Jogging and walking, past K-mart, half way to go, the pain was still excruciating, every step...... Walk, jog, walk, jog, street after street, shop after shop, house after house. 5.39pm, I was afraid I have walk past the street, afraid of getting lost, nevertheless, continue on knowing everything will work out under His plan. It was 5.49pm, when I saw Vicki street and I found the shop.

Of course the pain was still there, I almost drop dead. Anyway, I enter the shop, and found the Book, bought it. Luckily there was a bus stop nearby, took the bus home, and the bus was going back along the street that I have been trailing. Thinking back, I wouldn't have able to do this without God and Jesus. It was the moment I reach home, that moment when I can finally lie down on my bed where God done the healing again. The moment I got up to cook for dinner, the pain was not there anymore, all I felt is my leg, is as if I have not been jogging at all. Everything was back to normal.

Thank you, God!! Thank you, Jesus!!

Renew

It been 4 days since that faithful day(haha, sound it like a long time ago). Anyway, just like the title say, this time I going to do it unlike the previous life. What am i talking about? Well, it just the walk of life together with Lord and Jesus. And yes, I know I was a Christian the last time, but to be honest with you, I did not fully have trust in HIM and always having doubts and except in life, never truly believe in HIS plan and always been "dumping" HIM for something more important.

It was during a church camp at Phillip Island, Australia, I still remember the first time I when to camp, I was wondering why the heck did I come here again? It does not look like I going to enjoy it at all, and like always, I was blaming myself for doing such so and accepting to come here in the first place.......

Of course, I just go and follow with a million hesitation. It was kinda like 'bla bla bla' and 'heard before' situation, then on Friday night, while out alone in the dark, I saw a shooting star, suddenly I felt so empty and my there was a feeling very uncomfortable, it was then I make a wish, half believing in God while having doubt, I wish for a miracle..... Then it was on Saturday night, it was nothing like I never felt before. Like I say, previously in my life, there was many except, there was so many 'habit' I just dun want to get rid off and it those kind of 'habit' that been destroying my life. But on that night itself, the feeling was more than word can say..... Even now, it still there...... During the alter call (it was time to get rid of those 'habit' and the other except in life). I lost control of my body and when up which I thought I won't do it...... While up in front, I felt so weak, so weak till I thought I going to 'pengsan' right on the spot.... But after going through it, I felt so much lighter...... There was an instantaneously disappearance of all the burden and worry.... And there was the 'tunnel of prayer' or so (sorry, I known for poor memory -.- )... After going through it, the feeling was even so 'pure', purer than anything else, love stronger than anyone I have fallen with, after that, I sat down, trying to interpret this feeling that I dun even know what it is, while so, there was guy who randomly come up to me, comforting me, though it make that unknown feeling even stronger, but thank to him, I felt more relax...... It was a night of remembrance.

On Sunday, we head back to "Planetshaker" church. It was during this time, I want to walk with HIM again, this time with no doubt and all the way to the end. Once I got back home, I immediately threw away all that "thing" that destroyed my life(yes, I did bring those over from Malaysia), never thought I would truly do this......

Thank you for the reminder, PlanetUNI and Planetshaker!!

And those who wandering what the "habit" and "thing" are.... is something relating to do with sex.... typical isn't it.....